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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288703">Inconvenience</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91'>soufflegirl91</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>James Bond (Craig movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, MI6 Cafe Occult October Challenge, Supernatural Elements, sp00qy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:41:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It had become a routine, of sorts. If it was a run of the mill, low risk mission, Q would make some sort of joke about breaking equipment. For the more serious missions, it was always the same thing: <br/>"Please don't die, 007. It would be very inconvenient."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Bond/Q</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Sp00qy</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Inconvenience</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A very late contribution to the cafe's annual Occult October challenge. It meets one or two of the occult October prompts... if you squint. </p>
<p>As always, eternal thanks to Christinefromsherwood for being a wonderful beta, prodder and idea bouncer, and for not laughing me out of Slack when I told her my idea.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Please don't die, 007. It would be very inconvenient."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>James Bond stared at the new Quartermaster's retreating back. It had been over a month since that first meeting in the gallery, and James still didn't know what to make of him. For all that he appeared </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> young and </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, there was something… </span>
  <em>
    <span>other </span>
  </em>
  <span>about him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If only James could put his finger on what it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No time for that now, though. Duty and a night flight to Doha called. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The mysterious new Q would have to wait.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Please don't die, 007. It would be very inconvenient." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words rang a bell in the back of his mind. He was sure Q had said that before the Doha mission, too. And he had been lucky to come back from that one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was just a throwaway comment. The same way that Q had said “please return the equipment in one piece” on their first mission together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So why did it niggle him so much?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Q, I didn't know you cared."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well--” Q glanced up from his laptop with a thin smile--“That's a lot of expensive equipment you have there, Bond. It would be quite the hassle to retrieve it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>James huffed out a laugh. Trust Q to have a witty retort to everything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Right. Of course. Well, I wouldn't want to cause the Quartermaster any </span>
  <em>
    <span>hassle</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"See that you don't. Have a safe flight, 007."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had become a routine, of sorts. If it was a run of the mill, low risk mission, Q would make some sort of joke about breaking equipment. For the more serious missions, it was always the same thing: </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Please don't die, 007. It would be very inconvenient." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To James, who had so few strings left pulling him back to London, it was as if Q was saying: “Come home, 007. There’s someone here who will miss you if you don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Funny, how even that one person could be enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>James picked up his equipment and turned to leave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused in the doorway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Is there anything else I can help you with, 007?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One person, with tousled hair and intelligent eyes and the ability to see right through his bullshit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He considered for a moment. What could he say?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, actually, I really think there is.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re the only thing that keeps me coming back.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I would claw my way back from hell if I knew you were waiting for me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Come to dinner with me?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nothing at all," was what he finally settled on. "Try not to miss me while I'm away. I’d hate for you to pine too much."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of Q's indelicate snort followed him out of Q Branch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t die, 007. It would be very inconvenient.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their fingers brushed as Q handed him the Walther and James felt it like a brand across his knuckles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know me, Q. I always come back.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Q raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eventually,” James conceded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, see that you come back </span>
  <em>
    <span>on time</span>
  </em>
  <span>, this time. Or I’ll be very disappointed.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we wouldn’t want that. See you in a few days, Q.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he got back from Samarkand, he decided, he really would ask Q out to dinner this time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t die, 007. It would be very inconvenient.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The look in Q’s eyes seemed even more intense than usual. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Was that because this was a particularly difficult mission brief, or because James had spent the previous night making up for all the nights he’d be away?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, Q.” James faked light-heartedness. “Would I do that? Die and deprive you of the chance to tell me off for grievous motorly harm?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Q shook his head impatiently, grabbing hold of James’s hand with a ferocity James hadn’t expected. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean it. Don’t die.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ah. This was going to be a bad one, then. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Q already clinging to his hand, it was easier than breathing for James to pull him in close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t,” he promised into Q’s hair. “I’ll come back to you for as long as I can.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please don’t die, 007.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words rang in his ears, even though they had taken his earpiece hours ago. Taken it and trodden it into the cement floor, before… Before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had promised. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Promised Q that he’d come back to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It would be very inconvenient.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>James curled in on himself against the wall of the basement, desperately trying to staunch the bleeding in his stomach and thigh with the remains of his shirt, already knowing that it was futile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was going to break his promise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t coming back from this one. And he couldn’t even say goodbye. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As his vision began to darken and the pool of blood beneath him grew larger, James gathered the last of his strength to utter an apology no one would hear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Q.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>James Bond, 007, slipped into unconsciousness one last time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>… and woke up in his own bed, with the midday sun streaming down on the pillow and an angry Quartermaster glaring down at him with piercing green eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did I say about you dying?!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words crackled between them. James blinked, sure for a moment that he was waking from a particularly vivid dream.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he looked down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His trousers, ripped where they had stabbed him, were crusted with blood. His torso streaked with rusty brown. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But nothing hurt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were no injuries, only dried blood where they</span>
  <em>
    <span> had been</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>James looked back up at Q as if seeing him for the first time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something about him was… </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hair looked even more electrocuted than normal. His eyes greener.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t wearing his glasses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <span>What?</span>
  <em>
    <span>” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“James, I’ve already brought you back from the brink of death once this morning, I’d really rather you didn’t have a heart attack on me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Q sighed, running a hand through his unruly hair, and James thought he saw electricity crackle and sputter across his fingertips. Q caught his gaze, and smiled wryly, shaking out his hand as if to banish pins and needles. James blinked. The sparks sputtered once more, then disappeared as if they had never been. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Q sank down beside him with another long sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to talk…”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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